#Based on a song

[ghostyary]

ignoring that I last posted 30 days ago!! i keep… forgetting this exists.. ANYWAY JON

[bricktoygrapher]

I believe I can fly

I believe I can touch the sky...

Finally got crazy arms and legs from Crazy Bricks (thanks to Kamino Bricks), just in time to join the Based on a Song challenge.

This is also my first entry to the Toy Photographers Bingo challenge.

Prompt: Minimalist ✔️

It is a year long challenge on Toy Photographers MeWe community and includes prizes by Lensbaby. Everyone is welcome to join!

Learn more about it here.

[bengals-barnesbabe]

Ex For A Reason

Pair: Andrei Iosivas x Black!FemReader

Des: based on the song (that’s literally it)

TW: language, mentions of straps (🔫), exes, alcohol/drugs. Andrei is the biggest green flag :)

Main Masterlist

‎⌖˚‎٭ ﴾﴿ ⌖˚‎٭

~ lowkey felt bad, that ‘what I want’ is taking me longer than I expected (I may be getting sick 💀)

[another-delta-lover]

Little heavymedic comic based on Valentine by Laufey <3 (Also, Kid-medic design 🗣️‼️) (ALSO, EYE HEADCANON- HAVEN'T TOLD YOU GUYS ABOUT IT CRÆPË)

[geminivriskq]

Shamelessly self advertising my fanfiction but GO READ SWEET BOD ON WATTPAD!!

⚠️Warning for depictions of blood and a corpse in the image!

⚠️Warning for overall death, blood and gore, and illness in the fanfic itself!

(It is a rewrite of something older, feel free to check out the old one, though warning, it does suck)

[futuremrscameron]

body favors (smau)

the prelude

[aurae-rori]

don't ask me why i desperately wish to be included in the city's night

“children of the city”

— aventio/ratiorine fic

— post-penacony relationship

— dr. ratio analysis sorta with introspection, poetic narratives, philosophy, and dissociation

— based on children of the city by mili, but shoutout to agoraphobia the song for being awesome

— 4.1k words

[to-indeed-be-a-godd]

La Vie en rose

Neil sighed his head beginning to hurt from studying the words against the script, he had practically all his lines memorized except for the few spoken in french, specifically when his character was meant to hold an entire conversation in the language.

“je…sais..que-que je-“

he groaned unable to pronounce the words taking a deep breath and repeating them.

“je sais …que je t'aime..” He said the words finally able to pronounce them as the familiar blond walked into their room raising an eyebrow surprised.

“You speak french?” Todd asked shyly setting his things down on the bed as Neil sighed toss the script back on his bed.

“I wish, i have to say things in french for this play i’m doing” the blond made a small o shape with his mouth before taking the book from his desk and playing his walkman as he read, his face focused as a stray piece of hair dangled over his eyes, Neil’s fingers burned to tuck the stray strand of hair behind the others ear but held back still reciting the words over and over.

“je sais que je t'aime”

Eventually it began rolling off his tongue a bit however his accent was anything but believable as he sighed his headache getting worse each time he repeated his he phrase till finally his roommate set down his book and stood up.

“You aren’t saying it correctly.” He said bluntly looking at Neil before holding his hand out for Neil to give him the script which he handed over.

Todd read it carefully, “je sais que je t'aime, n'est-ce pas suffisant?” the words rolled off his tongue leaving Neil in a state of shock and completely flustered, as if this boy couldn’t get anymore perfect.

“i’m sorry…you speak french?!” He stumbled over his words looking at Todd a mix of excitement and shock.

“I learned a bit growing up…” He replied sheepishly handing Neil back the script.

“wait wait so how do you say it?” Neil asked because he needed to know how to pronounce the words and not because his roommate speaking french was the most beautiful thing he’d ever heard.

“je sais..” he said waiting for Neil to repeat after him the two following along with the other through each word.

“je sais que je t'aime, n'est-ce pas suffisant” Todd said again and Neil repeated in a good enough way that Todd gave him a proud smile.

“What does it mean anyways?” Neil asked curiously noticing the slight blush against the others features, god this boy had Neil’s heart doing backflips every second.

“Oh..I know i love you…isn’t that enough?” He mumbled sitting back down against his bed as Neil thought for a second.

“so i love you is?” he asked knowing how dangerous this game he was playing was but so desperate to hear the words come from the others mouth.

“Je vous aime” Todd said softly his eyes meeting Neil’s and oh god Neil’s heart might have stopped.

“je vos-“ he tried to say it knowing he was butchering the pronunciation.

“Je vous aime” The blond repeated slower as Neil stepped closer as they both fell into a rhythm of Todd repeating the words as Neil stepped closer trying to mimic it until Neil was practically standing between Todd’s legs neither breaking eye contact.

“Je vous aime” Todd’s voice was so small practically a whisper that made Neil’s heart sing, there was little Neil loved more then acting but for Todd, Neil would give the world for Todd, he’d give anything to hear him utter those words once more.

“puis-je t'embrasser?” Neil had no clue what he had said all he knew it sounded like a question and all he could do was silently nod before he felt soft lips press against his.

It was sweet and soft but desperate and affectionate, like both of them had been wishing for this for an eternity.

Neil was kissing the most beautiful boy he had ever met, and who apparently spoke french.

[starsval]

headcase

remus lupin x f!reader

summary: liking remus lupin isn't easy, especially when all he does is give you mixed signals

word count: 3k

warnings: kissing, reader drinks alcohol, talking about sleeping with someone(?

I was doing fine till you crashed in my headspace And took over my mind I was sorta cool till you made me a headcase And now I'm always Getting over it, getting over you, I don't even know you Hit me with that smile Way to rip my heart out my ribcage, ooh-ooh

"so i think i'll just do it lat-" you don't finish, distracted by a certain tall boy, with honey eyes and scarred face. who just walked in.

"what happened?" lily asks, worried by your sudden change.

"i hate him" you declare, maybe for the fifth time that day.

"you don't" marlene adds, focusing on her nails.

"yeah you don't" lily agrees, turning to wave at remus.

"okay maybe i don't" you keep talking so they can't interrupt you "but i am getting over him" you announce "i can't live like this, like, i don't even remember what i was talking about 'cause he just crashed into my headspace, and now i can only think about him, and his hair, and his hands and his sweaters…"

lily talks, intervening before you can go on your daily rant about remus lupin.

"i thought you said you hated him and were getting over him?" she smiles, chuckling when you groan.

marlene also smiles, but she loudly laughs when you put your head in your hands. remus just smiled at you.

"he's gonna rip my heart out my ribcage"

Only hit me now, we were texting late When you called me up just to see my face And I can't, I can't seem to figure you out Are you with that girl back in your home town? If we never kissed, does it even count? I still can't get you out of my mouth Way to touch me, babe, way to ask a {lady?} Overthink, overcomplicate Won't you let me stay in this fake heartbreak? I'm a real headcase

you know you should be sleeping instead of texting remus. you are aware of that, but it's hard to sleep when all he's doing is giving you mixed signals. it's hard to sleep when all you're doing is thinking about him. it's hard to sleep when he asks if he can come over. and it's even harder to say no to him.

"why did you want to come over?" you ask him as he walks in, closing the door behind him.

"just wanted to see your face" he stands in front of you, ignoring the way you frown at his words, touching your cheek.

"can i be honest with you?" he smirks.

"of course" he takes a step closer to you.

"i don't think i'll ever figure you out" you rest your forehead against his chest, feeling the vibrations as he chuckles.

"good"

ᨳ  ׂ   𓈒  ⠀🌙 ㅤׂ  ✽   ੭

"i don't get it, he comes over, spends the night and then he's making out with this girl from his hometown" you pout at your ceiling, marlene and lily next to you.

"we don't get it either" lily assures.

"maybe it's because we never kissed, maybe it doesn't count"

"i don't think remus is like that" marlene says, giving you a chocolate.

"i hate how i can't stop talking about him" you sigh, closing your eyes "in my defense, he gives really good hugs"

"maybe you're just over thinking?" lily asks, taking a chocolate from marlene.

"let me stay in this fake heartbreak please"

Honey, if you want, I could give you my weekends All you gotta do Is tell me this is true, tell me I am your weakness Just give me something I don't know how this started Is this what modern art is? You left and took my heart with

"are you free this weekend?" remus finds you as you're walking to class, getting the books from your hands to hold them for you.

"i don't know" you do know, marlene wants you to go to this party with her "why?"

"are you coming to the party?" he asks, smiling at you.

"i don't know yet" you lie, marlene would kill you if you didn't go.

"okay, i'll see you there then" he gives you your books back.

"what?" you frown.

"i'm inviting you, so you have to go" he then turns around and leaves, probably to his class.

ᨳ  ׂ   𓈒  ⠀🌙 ㅤׂ  ✽   ੭

you see remus right when you enter, but lily quickly drags you to were marlene is waiting, so you don't see him again until an hour later. when you've already had some drinks.

"hi" he pats the spot next to him on the couch, and you sit, staring at your cup "how are you?"

"can i ask you something?" you say, ignoring him.

"sure" he puts an arm around your shoulder.

"will you please tell me that this is true? tell me i am your weakness?" you stare at him.

"are you drunk?" he take the hand that's holding your cup and puts it close to his face, smelling it "you are drunk" he confirms as he gets up, pulling you up with him.

he takes your hand in his, and walks to lily and marlene, that are talking with james and sirius.

"i'm taking her to her room" he tells the girls.

"why?" sirius asks, but one glance at you is enough, it's obvious that you're drunk.

"okay, we'll go check on her later" lily says, taking the cup from your hand as you pass next to her, following remus.

you're already in a corridor when you talk again.

"please just give me something" you say, staring at the back of his hand

"you have to sleep" he mutters, ignoring you until you reach your room.

you fall on your bed, staring at the ceiling.

"i don't know how this started" you tell him, knowing that he knows what you're talking about. you're talking about your weird relationship. you are friends, but you flirt, you stay up talking to each other, you get jealous when the other is on a date with someone. but you aren't dating. "but i hate it, i hate you"

he only smiles, knowing that you don't mean it. he sits next to you, stroking your hair, waiting until you fall asleep.

then he leaves, taking your heart with him.

And it hit me now, we were texting late Then you called me up just to see my face And I can't, can't seem to figure you out (You out), ooh-ooh Are you with that girl back in your home town? If we never kissed, does it even count? I still can't get you out of my mouth (My mouth)

you hear your name being called just as you get up to get another drink. when you turn, you see sirius walking to you.

"remus is asking for you" he says, taking your hand and dragging you with him. you hadn't seen or talked to him since that party last week.

"what?" you ask, but before he can answer, you're standing in front of a very drunk remus, whose eyes light up when he sees you.

"hi" he giggles, taking the hand sirius is holding, to hold it himself.

"hi" you reply, frowning at james, who's watching everything with a smirk "why don't you go to sleep?"

you think remus is not going to agree, but he quickly gets up.

"with you? of course" he starts walking to the door, and you can only look back at james and sirius as they laugh.

"what? remus, no, i didn't mean-" you try to talk, but he ignores you, looking back only to grin.

once you reach his room, he quickly takes off his shoes and lies on the bed, staring at you with his arms open.

"remus" you say, not getting closer to him.

"yes?" he smiles at you, and if you weren't tipsy you'd notice the sparks in your eyes are because of you.

"sleep"

"i'm trying to, but you are just standing there" he sounds genuine about it, just the same way he looks genuinely sad when you take a step towards the door.

he doesn't say anything, so you assume he's just going to give up. but before you can reach the door, you feel his hand on your wrist. and before you can say something, you're on the bed next to him, with his arms around you.

"remus?" you try to move, but his grip doesn't get any weaker, even when he's half asleep.

he hums in response, his face in your neck.

"let me go"

he doesn't reply, but you feel his smile against your skin.

"i want to go back to the party" you try again, even if it's not entirely true.

"liar" he mutters, and his arms tighten around you.

"what"

"you like being here with me" he replies, and then he finally falls asleep.

And I can't seem to figure you out Oh, I can't seem to figure you out (You out)

you wake up to a flashlight, and when you open your eyes, there's a really drunk sirius holding a camera, with a really drunk james suppressing a laugh next to him.

"what time is it?" you ask, peeling remus' arm from around you.

"like 4 am" sirius replies, taking another picture of remus, this time without flash.

"tell remus i said goodbye" you say, walking to the door, although you doubt they'll remember.

the second time you wake up, it's already bright up. and when you get to the Great Hall, you see remus staring at you.

"why is he glaring at you?" marlene asks, frowning when remus gets up.

"i don't know" you lie, but before lily can say anything, remus is already behind you.

"you weren't there when i woke up" he says it like an accusation, and before you can reply, marlene is already talking.

"what!?" she practically spits her tea "you slept with him?"

"no" you say.

"yes" he says.

"not in the way you think!" you clarify.

"why did you sleep with him?" lily asks, and you can see the smirk she's hiding.

"i didn't-"

"you did" before remus can say anything else, you get up and grab his arm, dragging him out of the Great Hall to talk.

"what?"

"you weren't there when i woke up" he repeats.

"you wanted me to be there?" you frown, because the signals he has given you definitely didn't say that.

"yes" he doesn't change his expression.

"i find that hard to believe"

"why?" he scoffs.

"really? why?" you don't know if you should ignore him or just laugh in his face.

"yes, why?"

"you act all lovely on me one day and then you are with someone else, forgive me if i don't believe that you want me around"

"i forgive you" this time you're the one who scoffs, turning around and walking again in the Great Hall, not caring if he follows you.

marlene and lily decide not to ask about it.

Are you with that girl back in your home town? If we never kissed, does it even count? I still can't get you out of my mouth (My mouth) Way to touch me, babe, way to ask a lady? Overthink, overcomplicate Won't you let me stay in this fake heartbreak? I'm the real headcase

"really? again?" peter questions as remus sits in the couch again. they're in the middle of a party and remus just left with that girl from his hometown.

"did she see me?" remus looks around, looking for you.

"i think she was too busy talking with evan" james informs him, grinning when lily approaches them.

"have you seen the idiots i call for friends?" she asks, shoving sirius out of the way to sit on the couch next to james.

"one was with dorcas and the other one just left with evan" peter replies.

"wait, it was real? she left with evan?" remus frowns, and even pouts when lily laughs at him.

"what? you think she's gonna wait for you? babe, she's getting bored of you" she tells him, suddenly turning around when you and marlene approach her.

you sit on the couch in front of her, where sirius went after lily had pushed him. he puts an arm around both of you.

"so, i heard that you're both in love with some slytherins" you both glare at him, and he laughs at remus' expression.

after talking for a while, and you ignoring remus all the time, you three get up and leave. but before you can reach the hallway, remus takes your arm.

"can we talk?"

"we're talking right now" you smile. he glares.

before he can reply, marlene shoves both of you out of the door and to a corner of the hallway.

"talk" and then she leaves with lily.

"why were you with evan?" he asks.

"we were talking"

"like we" he points to both of you "talk?"

"i don't know remus, how do we talk? how are you any different than evan?"

"he doesn't like you" you chuckle.

"and you do?"

"i do"

"i don't believe you" you start to walk away, but he grabs your arm and turns you around, settling his hands on your waist.

"let me help you believe"

"what?" you notice the way he looks at your lips.

"i can't get you out of my mouth, ask peter, i'm sure he hates me because all i ever do is talk about you. you're the only one who makes me overthink. i'm literally wondering if i'm too tall right now"

his face gets closer to yours as he talks.

"remus-"

"and i know that we never kissed, but even if it doesn't count, i'd prefer to stay on this fake heartbreak, just because it'd be because of you"

you can't handle it anymore, so you just kiss him, you grab his face and kiss him. you kiss him to shut him up, that's what you tell yourself.

when you pull away, he's grinning.

"that was just so you shut up" you tell him, but your hands don't leave his face, instead, they go to the back of his neck.

"sure"

"i meant it" you try to pull away, but his grip on your waist tightens, and one of his hands to the back of your neck.

"i'm gonna start talking again so you might need to shut me up again" he smirks.

you comply, happily.

I'm the real headcase I'm the real headcase Mm Yeah, I'm the real headcase

when you enter the great hall the next morning, remus walking in with you, your friends and his are sitting together.

so when you go sit with them, the stares you get are inevitable.

"so?" james starts, smirking.

"what?" you ask, already feeling the headache you're gonna get from this.

"did you sleep together?" marlene abruptly asks after a moment of silence.

"marlene!" you say.

"yes" remus says.

"remus!" you say again, hitting his arm.

"what? it's true!" he frowns.

"it's not" you say, sitting and focusing on your food.

"it is" everyone agrees, and you can't do anything but ignore them.

ᨳ  ׂ   𓈒  ⠀🌙 ㅤׂ  ✽   ੭

the next few weeks, you spend your days with remus, still not sure if you're dating or not, but neither of you care.

right now you're laying on his bed, reading a book, well, at least trying to, because remus is making it really hard. he's basically lying on top of you, stroking your hair and giving small pecks to your neck.

"can i ask you something?" he says after a while, lifting his head to look at you, but you focus on the book.

"sure" your eyes don't leave the book until you have no other choice, because certain someone just snatches it from your hand.

"do you want to be my girlfriend?" you freeze at his words, staring at him.

"i know it's not the best way of asking, i mean, you deserve something fancy, like chocolates or flowers, but i couldn't wait to ask you" he stares back at you, his eyes softer than ever. and all you can do is lean in and kiss him.

it's a sweet kiss, soft and short, and you think that it's enough as an answer, but you still reply.

"i'd love to" he kisses you again, and the book is long forgotten as his other hand goes to your waist, and the one in your hair goes to the back of your neck.

ᨳ  ׂ   𓈒  ⠀🌙 ㅤׂ  ✽   ੭

you walk into the gryffindor common room holding hands, and sit next to all of your friends, who look at you, suspiciously.

"what's happening?" sirius asks, pointing at your hands.

"what?" remus replies, and when you let go of his hand to pick up your book, his hand goes to your tight instead.

"why is your hand on my best friend's tight?" lily talks, frowning.

"i can't put my hand on my girlfriend's tight?" remus makes sure to emphasise the word girlfriend, and you're almost sure everyone stops breathing.

"what" marlene breaks the silence, "since when?"

"like two weeks ago" you mutter, still reading your book.

this time, the reactions come almost immediately.

"what!" mary screams.

"and you didn't tell us?" lily looks offended.

"we have to throw a party to celebrate!" james and sirius say at the same time, high fiving after that.

"when's the wedding?" marlene asks.

"next year" remus replies, and that makes you look away from your book.

"what!?" all of you ask, except remus.

"since when?!" lily frowns at you.

"i don't know!" you look at remus.

"we're already engaged" he says.

"what!?" you all say again, and he just rolls his eyes.

"we aren't engaged" you clarify.

"she's just in denial" remus tells everyone.

"you haven't asked!" lily frowns at that.

"you'd say yes!?" she asks.

everyone stops everything and looks at you, slowly getting more flustered, and at remus, who's grinning like he hasn't before.

"what if we get married next week?" he asks.

"no!" lily replies before you can.

[randomdelusionaldee]

Kind of a spiderverse oc I made with that one siamse twins from the song ‘Evelyn Evelyn’…

[lottienatsgf]

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ 🏠 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐞 𝐛𝐥𝐮𝐞 - 𝐞. 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐦𝐬

“ and it feels good to be known so well

i can’t hide from you like i hide from myself ”

ellie x reader

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ synopsis : inspired by the boygenius song / you and ellie spend the day painting her bedroom walls together

⋆｡𖦹 ° notes : this is heavily inspired by boygenius’ “true blue” music video! i’m a huge fan of them so this fic was super fun to write :) established relationship, living in jackson, sfw, literally just fluff, i need to write longer fics but like… this is still cute right??? :’)

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ wc : 1032

“god, FUCK.” ellie grunts, her voice thick with exhaustion and annoyance as another can of paint tumbles out of her arms, making a loud thunking noise on the floor of jackson’s hardware store.

“shit,” you mutter under your breath, carefully bending down to pick it up without dropping the cans already in your arms. “do you think we really need this many?”

“pssh, i dunno,” ellie responds, making her way to the front of the store to pay. “i’m just gonna be so fuckin happy when we get this over with,” she balances the remaining paint cans in her arms, finally reaching the check out clerk. robert, the chubby man with a thick beard who owns the hardware store, accepts her cash and bags up the paint for you in thick, sturdy bags, making it a lot easier to carry. you thank him with a smile on your face, while ellie, clearly annoyed, barely mutters a reply. splitting the bags between the two of you, you walk side by side back to ellie’s house. the air is cold and crisp, making the walk back agonizing… not to mention the fact that your hands are weighed down with paint for ellie’s room.

“finally,” ellie breaths a sigh of relief once she pushes her door open. immediately setting down her bags, she plops down on the floor, spreading out her limbs. chuckling to yourself, you start the preparation. you unpack all the paints, pry open the lids, and start getting the paint brushes and rollers out of the garage.

“ready?” you ask her, holding up a thick brush with excitement.

ellie, trying to look pissed, can’t even hold back a small grin at the look of your toothy smile. “alright…” she gets up, brushing off her hands on her legs. “let’s fuckin do it!”

꩜

two hours later, you and ellie have only finished one wall of her bedroom. between moving her furniture, priming the walls, and putting all the coats of paint on…. no wonder it’s taken so long. the two of you stand back, slightly exhausted, backs aching, looking at your creation so far. the dark blue paint stands out drastically from the eggshell white color on the other three walls, but it does look pretty. even though ellie had said multiple times while painting, “this looks so good,” she now stands hunched over, a defeated look on her face.

you frown. “what’s wrong, els?”

“takin too long,” she replies, eyes scanning over her room. “it’s almost nighttime, and all my furniture is… not in here.”

“you can always stay at my place,” you tell her as if it was obvious.

her eyes perk up, her frown turning up a little bit. “yeah?”

“of course.”

“thanks, baby,” she says, her raspy voice making your head spin. “c’mere.”

you walk over to ellie, who’s holding out her arms for you. falling into them, ellie places a hand on your face, kissing your lips gently. pulling away, she giggles abruptly, staring at something just a little lower than your eyes.

“sorry, i…uh… i got a little something on your face,” she laughs. you gasp lightly, reaching your hand up to your cheek, finding a small blob of wet blue paint.

“ellie!” you squeal.

“relaxxxxx, it’s just paint,” she beams at you.

“just paint, my ass,” you snort, dipping your pointer finger in the bucket of paint and thrusting it at your girlfriend. she moves away a second too late, ending up with a blue smear across her cheek.

“oh, i’m gonna fuckin get you for that!” ellie yells, sticking her entire hand into the bucket and flinging it at you. your entire shirt (luckily an old one you had borrowed from your older brother) gets splattered in blue, a few droplets hitting your face. you scream out, scrambling back to the paint bucket for more paint. ellie beats you to it, playfully shoving you out of the way and covering you in more paint.

“ellie, i’m gonna-“ you collect more paint, splashing it onto her. now her shirt is covered as well, along with the blue streak on her face.

ellie gasps, racing back to the bucket for more paint. hands full of the blue liquid, she chases you from wall to wall, the paint dripping onto the covered floor. finally, she reaches you, tackling you and pinning you down onto the ground. her hands stain your clothes blue and her fingertips drag the remained of the paint up your neck and onto your face. she straddles you, making it impossible to get up.

“ellie!” you cry out, but her adorable grin makes you roll your eyes, giggling.

she takes a glob of the paint on her pointer finger, drawing a heart over your cheek with it. “there, y’look so cute.”

you take this moment, the one of her admiring you, to flip her over, scrambling onto your feet and rushing to the paint bucket. ellie, faster than you, crashes into you, sending you both back onto the floor. you stretch your arm out to the bucket, grabbing a handful of paint and smearing it across ellie’s forehead.

“i’m gonna fucking-“ you cut her off with another load of paint on her shoulders. “okay, truce, please!” she cries, giggling and completely covered in sticky blue paint.

you smirk, considering it. ellie’s eyes across from yours look so pleading and innocent, so you finally collapse underneath her, surrendering. she loosens her body on top of yours, her fingers pressing into your paint covered skin and dragging the color around.

“you’re blue,” she grins.

you tilt your head up, surprising her with a kiss. her lips connect with yours, her chapped lower lip rubbing over yours and her hands traveling to your hair, surely bringing a bit of paint into it.

“you’re the worst,” you whisper.

“i know, just terrible,” ellie fake pouts, fingers pushing your hair out of your face. you kiss her again, then sit up, examining the mess that you’ve both made.

“fuck,” she breathlessly laughs, scanning the room. “finish the rest tomorrow?”

you gaze up into her eyes, biting your lip and stifling a laugh. “we’ll probably need to buy more paint.”

[arlana-likes-to-write]

What Was I Made For? By Billie Eillish

Summary: After Yelena returns to Soyna's apartment from failing to kill Clint Barton she begins to question her place in this world. Luckly for her, you are there to lend a helping hand.

Warning: Self-doubt, Fluff, Lots of drinking, mention of Natasha's death, Yelena needs the biggest hug.

Word Count: 2.7k

The front door slammed shut and alerted you to her arrival. But you didn’t get out of bed when you heard the hushed voices of Yelena and Soyna through the door. It was when you heard one set of footsteps storm off, you climbed out of bed and opened the door. You lived with Sonya when she and Yelena exposed you to the Red Dust. She offered you a room until you decided what was next. However, that was the problem. You weren’t sure what was next. All of your life you followed orders and behaved like a good soldier to complete the orders to a man that no longer existed. He could no longer hurt you. What were you to do now? “How is she?” You asked. Soyna was resting her hands on the kitchen counter.

“She didn’t complete the mission,” that was a surprise. Yelena always completed the mission. You didn’t know anything about her newest assignment, just that the target was in New York City and she would be staying here until she finished the job. You sighed, walked over to the fridge, and took out two bottles of vodka.

“I’m guessing she’s on the roof,” you put on your sneakers and winter jacket.

“Zvezda (star),” you stopped before going up the fire escape. “I don’t think she wants to talk to anyone.” You smiled at your friend.

“Well, it’s lucky I’m someone special,” you opened the window and stepped onto the fire escape, closing it behind you. Zvezda it was a nickname Yelena gave you. The Red Room assigned you to a rising crime lord in the New York and New Jersey area. At least that was what Soyna told you. The things you did for them would come in flashes, mostly in nightmares. Once you adjusted to having your mind and body back, you got a tattoo of Saturn on your arm. The planet symbolized stubbornness, stability, and authority. It was for anyone that wished to take control of their life. That was what you needed. A gentle reminder that you were in control of your life and the end of your story. So they tried to give you the nickname of ‘planet’, ‘Saturn’ but you didn’t like any of them until Yelena came up with star. It fit you well.

You stepped onto the roof, the winter air caused goosebumps to form on your legs. “I came up here because I do not want to talk,” Yelena said, without turning around. She sat on the roof’s edge, legs dangling above the city below.

“Good thing I don’t want to talk,” you said, sitting down next to her. It was close enough that you felt the warmth radiating from her but you gave her enough space to not overcrowd her. It was a delicate dance to play with the blonde. You opened the bottle. “Drink.” You offered her it but she didn’t take her eyes off the busy city street below. You took a sip from the bottle, the burn made the hair on the back of your neck stand up. You put the bottle between you and her, leaning back and looking at the city. It was beautiful this time of year. Red and white lights danced in the darkness. You wondered what it was like to celebrate Christmas. Holidays weren’t celebrated in the Red Room. Holidays were used as an easy way to get into a party to find a target. It was another day of training and another night handcuffed to your bed.

“You are going to catch a cold wearing that,” she took a generous sip from the bottle.

“And I thought you didn’t want to talk Belova,” she was wearing her black tactical suit. A smirk was on her face as she took another sip and you picked up the bottle, mirroring her. The other Widows liked to tease you that Yelena had a soft spot for you. She rarely snapped or became annoyed with you but you contributed to not bothering her. You let her exist, not forcing her to talk.

“What did Soyna tell you?” She still refused to look at you.

“You didn’t complete the job,” you shrugged. “I didn’t ask more. Not my place.” It was true. If Yelena refused to kill the man or woman then it had to be a good reason.

“Why are you here then?” Finally, she looked at you. Her green eyes were red, her cheeks blotchy, and dried tears on her cheeks.

“Just to sit here and be your friend,” you took another sip. You felt her eyes on you soon it became too much and you looked at her. “Do you want to talk about what happened?”

“I do not know,” you nodded.

“Well, when you do know I’m here,” you continued to sit in silence, passing the bottle back and forth until it was empty and you opened the next one. The alcohol was making you feel warm like you were surrounded by a big hug. Yelena rubbed her eyes, suppressing a yawn. “Come on,” you stood up, wobbling slightly. You didn’t know if it was from the alcohol or your legs being asleep. You weren’t drunk, a little tipsy at best. “You should get some sleep.” The blonde groaned and you held out your hand. She sighed, took it, and grabbed the fuller bottle before standing up. She stumbled more than you did. Was she drinking before she came back to the apartment? You were a few inches taller than her and you caught the blonde when she stumbled forward. Her head fell into the crock of your neck. Her warm breath caused goosebumps to form on your skin.

“You smell good,” she mumbled. “Like euc-euc eucalyptus,” she stumbled over the word a few times which caused her to giggle. You rolled your eyes.

“Come on, let’s get you to bed. You walked in front of Yelena as you led her down the fire escape. Your hand lingered on her hip now and again to steady her. When you opened the window, the apartment was quiet. You weren’t sure if Soyna went to bed or went out. Yelena was eyeing the couch that had been her bed for the past few nights. “Do you want to sleep in my bed tonight?” You asked as if you could read her mind. She looked at you, her green eyes wide.

“Can I?” She whispered. It was so rare to hear such vulnerability in her voice.

“Of course, you can,” you took the bottle from her and put it back in the fridge, making a mental note to buy Soyna two new bottles. You grabbed Yelena’s hand and brought her to your room. The first time she was in her was when she dropped you off. You’ve changed it since then, added posters of bands you liked and pictures you’ve taken around the city. She sat on the edge and looked around your room. “Do you want to change?”

“Clothes are out there,” she pointed to the door. “Don’t wanna move,” you giggled. “What’s so funny?” She asked as you walked to your closet.

“Your just cute,” you saw a blush rise to her cheeks. “I have stuff you can use,” you grabbed her a long sleeve shirt and an extra pair of sleep shorts. You handed them to the blonde but knelt on the floor to take off her boots. She didn’t fight you but watched you with a curious expression. “Do you need help changing?” Yelena shook her head. “Okay, I’ll be right back.” You left your room with her boats in hand to give her some privacy. You filled two glasses with water before returning to your room. Yelena was changed and resting her back on your headboard. You placed both glasses of water on your nightstand. “Did you get hurt tonight?” She hesitated but shrugged. “Do you want me to look at it?”

“No,” she simply said. You turned on the light you had on your nightstand and turned off the overhead light before climbing into bed. She copied you, getting under the covers, and lay down to face you. Tears swelled in her eyes.

“Yelena,” you whispered. “Are you okay?” She shook her head, a sob escaping her lips. You didn’t think and brought the emotionally distraught Black Widow into your arms. She tensed up at the sudden contact but you felt her hands grip onto your shirt like a lifeline. “Sh, you’re okay,” you whispered, undoing the braid in her hair and running your fingers through her blonde locks. “Your safe. Your safe.” You kept repeating it until her cries turned into hiccups and her breathing evened out. She was fast asleep in your arms. You wondered if she ever allowed herself this peace, this safety net to fall back on. Yelena always seemed so strong, barely showing any emotion. It had to be exhausting. You allowed yourself a few minutes of soothing her before falling asleep.

*

It took a few moments for Yelena to recognize where she was, alone, in a room she had only seen in passing but never dared to go in. Your room. It always seemed welcoming, warm, and inviting. Yelena groaned, pushing her hands to her temples. Her head was pounding. She wasn’t sure if it was from all the alcohol she drank or the crying. She couldn’t remember the last time she cried, especially in front of someone. It was embarrassing and threatened the way she presented herself. But last night was the best night’s sleep she’s had in a long time. Yelena saw the glass of water and medicine you left out for her. There was a part of Yelena that was curious about where you ran off to but the much louder part was dreading to face you. With a sigh, she finished the water and ventured into the apartment. You were in the kitchen, mixing something into a metal bowl. “Where is Soyna?” Yelena asked. You jumped slightly.

“She ran to the store so I’m in charge of breakfast,” you smiled. “I’m making pancakes.”

“Do you need help?” Yelena offered. She wasn’t well versed in the kitchen, surviving mostly on take-out or easy microwave dinners.

“Can you make coffee?” That was something she could do and she was grateful to do something. You turned up the music you were listening to and the kitchen was no longer quiet. When the coffee started, Yelena couldn’t help but watch you move around the kitchen. You were so different than the other Widows she’s saved from Dreykov’s claws. You were soft, caring, and like Melina said all those years ago to her and Natasha you kept your heart. Her heart was tainted, blackened with grief and a thirst for revenge. But she felt empty, lost, and without a purpose. “Your thinking too hard,” your voice pulled her out of her thoughts. “Sit. The food is done.” Yelena did what she was told and sat down. You placed a plate in front of her with syrup and coffee from the pot. Why were you doing this? Yelena wasn’t deserving of your kindness. “Yelena, stop thinking and just eat.” You smiled. Your smile made her stomach flip.

“Thank you,” she took a bite of the food. “It’s really good.”

“I’m glad you like it,” you both ate in silence, allowing the music to fill it. But her mind started to wander and it went back to your room. Yelena had a room at Melina’s farm, she rarely used it as she slept in hotels or apartments of the Widows she’s helped. The room wasn’t decorated, and she didn’t have posters or pictures to hand up. The only picture she had was a ripped photo strip of her and Natasha.

“Yelena,” she looked at you. “Are you okay?” She forced a smile.

“I’m okay, malen’kaya zvezda (little star), no need to worry.” She wasn’t expecting you to frown.

“Your not okay,” you said. Your blunt comment surprised her. “And that’s okay. We can’t always be strong. We have to break now and again.” Yelena chuckled, shaking her head.

“Tell me, how did you keep your heart?” She asked. You didn’t mask the confusion on your face. “Your heart is good. They didn’t taint it.” Your frown deepened.

“Do you not think your heart is good?” Yelena couldn’t find an answer. How could she tell you she was hired to kill an Avenger and she believed the lie that he killed her sister? “I think your heart is good,” you continued. “You wouldn’t do what you do if your heart wasn’t good.” Yelena laughed bitterly, looking out towards the window. She wondered what Clint and Kate were doing right now. Were they celebrating Christmas?

“Do you ever wonder why we were put through the Red Room?” She asked. “Besides following Dreykov’s orders and taking down countries and starting wars. But what about now? The Red Room is gone and we are left with these kills,” she sighed, running her hands through her hair. “What was I made for? I used to know but I’m not sure now.” Yelena looked at you. You were watching her intensely, it made her feel small and foolish under your graze for opening up like this. But she couldn’t stop.

“Sometimes I don’t feel real,” she continued. “I’m just something someone paid for. I don’t know how to feel,” Quietly, you rested your hand on top of hers. Yelena was surprised she didn’t pull away.

“What was your mission?” You asked. Yelena stared at your connected hands.

“Someone put a hit on Clint Barton,” she didn’t need to loop up for you know you knew the name. “Valentina gave me the job. She said,” Yelena sighed, closing her eyes. Her throat began to burn as she felt her emotions start to overpower her. “She said he had a hand in my sister’s death.”

“Did he?” You whispered. Yelena shook her head.

“No. It’s why I didn’t kill him,” you didn’t say anything instead you ran your fingers across her hand. It was soothing. “I wonder,” Yelena continued. “If Valentina is like Dreykov. I’m blindly following orders without thinking for myself.” It was your turn to sigh and Yelena glanced up at you. You were deep in thought, staring at the now empty plate.

“You and I and every other Widow were not given a fair or easy life,” Yelena counted herself lucky for the 3 years in Ohio. She was given a family, even though it was for a mission. It was more than some of the other girls had. “We were born to be used, and abused, and controlled but I know that isn’t the end of our story.”

“What is the end?” Yelena asked. You finally began to smile.

“I don’t know but we are free, Yelena. We write our own story. No man or woman can take that from us,” you squeezed her hand. “You were made to be anything you want.” Yelena scuffed, shaking her head. You made it sound so easy.

“I don’t know what I want,” there was one thing she wanted more than anything in the world. She wanted more time with her sister. It was so unfair how little time they had together. You removed your hand as you started cleaning up the breakfast. Yelena hated to admit how much she missed it.

“Well, I would stop working with Valentina,” you loaded the dishwasher. “Go on a vacation. Swim in the ocean. Eat your weight in ice cream,” Yelena chuckled. Once you were happy with how the kitchen, you leaned back on the counter. “That’s the beautiful and scary thing about being free there is no limit to what we can do,” Yelena smiled, a real when. She wasn’t sure how long it had been since she smiled.

“You still didn’t answer my question,” she said. “How did you keep your heart?” You shrugged.

“They tried to break it,” you told her. Your smile was no longer happy. “But I had to believe the horror we were subjected to wasn’t our end. It gave me hope,” this time Yelena grabbed your hand and interlocked her fingers with yours.

“Will you join me?” She asked. “On my self-discovery journey.”

“Yeah, of course,” you said. “I’d follow you anywhere you go.” Yelena felt a warm feeling grow in her chest. She couldn’t blame the alcohol or her grief. You were to blame for this giddy feeling that she had about the future. For once, Yelena wasn’t afraid and she hoped to make her sister proud.

_

Might return to this little AU in the future. May add some angst in Part 2. We'll see what happens and how I'm feeling lol

[leasstories]

Timeless

Eddie Munson x fem!reader

No trigger warning, just fluff.

WC ≈ 1.5K

Based on Timeless by Taylor Swift

January 1987,

You’ve been walking in the streets of Indianapolis when an antique shop comes into view. You enter the shop and stop at the counter where thousands of old photos are on display. Most of them are photos of couples from different period of times. The sign says: ‘Photos, 25 cents each”. All of those old photos make you think of your relationship with your boyfriend, Eddie. 

The first photo you came across was a black and white photo of a bride in the ‘30s, it made you think of how much you would love to be Eddie’s bride, it makes you imagine what your dream wedding with the love of your life would look like. You think about how you would definitely marry Eddie in a heartbeat. It makes you daydream about how he might propose and about how, if one day he does, your gonna throw yourself at him.

You then saw the photo of school lovers laughing on the porch of their first house. It reminds you of the day you and Eddie moved in together. After the events of the Upside Down, Eddie and you didn’t lose a second, seeing Eddie battling for life in the hospital made you realize that your love for him is the kind of love you find only once in a lifetime. Eddie got out of the hospital in May 1986, with the financial compensation that the state gave the both of you, you bought a small trailer at Hawkins trailer’s park. You officially moved in together in June 1986 and have been living together ever since. You were the one nursing his wounds, you are the one who is here for him, in the middle of the night when he wakes up from a nightmare. You know that you’ll be here for him for as long as he allows you to be. Eddie is for you, the kind of love that you don’t put down, you cling to it for as long as you can. Even if Eddie despises conformity, you and Eddie are High School Sweetheart, you met in school and started dating during his second senior year. And this photo reminded you of that, it reminded you of how Eddie and you, are the American Teenage love story. Your first date was in a shitty drive in, your first kiss behind the bleachers and your first ‘I love you’ in the confines of Eddie’s bedroom. You first moved in together before graduating, and almost a year later, your shared trailer feels more like home than your respective childhood homes. 

You came across photos of couples in 1944, photos of women reading letters from their beloved who left to fight for the war, and at that moment, you realized that even if you met Eddie at that time, and were one of those women, you would have been waiting for him. 

At some point you spotted a photo of a teenage couple holding hands, on their way to a dance, the date said 1958. You took the photo in your hands and smiled. You feel like time stopped and remember the first time you saw Eddie. You remember that you were in Junior High and you were already intrigued by this little boy. You remember that, despite his buzzcut at the time, the first thing you thought of him was that he was pretty. Eddie and you were two grades apart, but from the moment you saw him to the moment he left Junior High, you kept admiring from afar. Then, you went to High School and your fascination turned into warmth into the pit of your stomach. During Eddie’s first senior year (and your Sophomore year), you finally realized that you had a crush on Eddie. Then you had the courage to join Hellfire. When Eddie said “hello” is when you story started. You didn’t have any hopes of being Eddie’s girlfriend. Eddie didn’t seem to date, but you took the opportunity to get to know him and spend time with him. And once you got to know him, you became head over heels, Eddie wasn’t only a good looking guy, deep down, he was also a real sweetheart.  You knew that there will never be anyone else than Eddie. Your heart belonged to him the minute he said “Hello” when you approached him to join the Hellfire Club. All of these memories, all of your story with Eddie, you are so scared to forget it all. 

You got out of your trip down the memory lane and came upon an old book, covered in cobwebs. When you open the book and start reading it, you realize that it is the story of a romance torn apart by fate. This story is your worse nightmare and reminds you that you almost lost Eddie in March of last year, it reminds you that fate almost teared you apart. It’s a story taking place a century ago. The couple fell in love just like you did with Eddie, they were teenage sweethearts too, the man died for the woman the same way Eddie almost died to protect you. And you know that you would die for him in the same way, Eddie is the most important person of your life. 

All of those pictures and stories made you realize that if you were forced to marry another man, your heart would still be Eddie’s. You would hide from your husband and read Eddie’s love letters every single nights. You would end up running away, leaving your life behind. Eddie still would be yours. You believe that the two of you were supposed to find each other and that in any lifetime, Eddie would be yours and you would be his. 

Times does affect your body, it’s scientific, but you know it won’t touch your soul, it won’t change your love for Eddie. In 50 years, you still see yourself love Eddie. Eddie’s always going to be yours and you are always going to be his. You know your love is timeless. You know that when you’ll be old and gray, you’ll keep loving him. You know you’ll have a cardboard full of photos laying in front of you. Photos of the life that Eddie and you have made. 

As those photos and this book made you think of Eddie, you went back on the streets and searched for a call box. As soon as you find it, you put all of your cents in the machine and dial your trailer’s phone number. 

“You’ve reached Eddie Munson, what can I do for ya?” Eddie asks.

“Baby!” You say, excited and out of breath.

“Sweets, where are you? Is everything okay?” Eddie asks, concerned.

“Yeah, yeah everything okay. I was just missing you.” You say softly.

“I miss you too, where are you?” Eddie asks again. “Still in Indianapolis?”

“Yes. Eddie I came across an antique shop and there were so many photos of couples. And it’s so hard to explain, but I saw us on those photos instead. It made me realize that somehow, I know that you and I would have found each other, even in another life. Even if we met in 1944 and you were headed off to fight in the war, you still would’ve been mine. I would have read your love letters every nights, praying that you’d be coming home all right. I would’ve impatiently waited for your return and then you would’ve proposed and we would have married each other once the war was over.” 

“You’re so cheesy” Eddie says, you can hear the smile in his voice. “But I also believe that we are timeless, that no matter what we would have found each other. Don’t say anyone I said this but I believe we are two halves of the same soul an that no matter what, we were destined to find each other.”

“And now who’s the cheesy one” You say smiling from ear to ear.  You can hear the bip of the call box indicating that your calling time is almost over.

“Eddie, I have to hang up but I love you, so much. See you tonight.”

A few days after this phone conversation, Eddie proposed to you. He wrote an acoustic song (which is really rare for Eddie) inspired by your phone call, a song telling you how much he loves you and how you and Eddie would have found each other in any other lifetimes. And in the cardboard you made, where you gathered all of your photos with Eddie, you added your engagement photo. A photo of you, arm wrapped around Eddie’s neck your body pressed tight against Eddie’s, tears of happiness rolling down your cheeks. You and Eddie both know it’s only the beginning and that in a few decades from now, the cardboard will be filled with memories, because you are meant for each others. 

In every scenarios, every period of time you could have been living in, you imagine your heart belonging to Eddie. You and Eddie, your love story, really is timeless. 

Taglist: @abellmunsonmovie

[zombieskae]

Barty would totally scratch Evan's Car with his keys.

Evan would laugh at Regulus' art.

Regulus would think Barty making his therapist cry is hilarious.

[faetima]

𝐰𝐡𝐲 . .

. . here you were, dove white bedsheets pooled around you, as fat, crystalline tears rolled down your face, an ugly reminder of what you had become.

or, a small fanfic based on boynextdoor’s album: why..

// tws ; none!! :3 ; gn reader ; modern au

a/n: stan boynextdoor guys

𝟭. 𝗖𝗥𝗬𝗜𝗡𝗚

between umbrellas on a rainy strеet

your words broke thrоugh even thе ѕound of rаin, goodbye

i јust shut mу mоuth

i pretend not to hear agaіn

sobs wracked your body.

it’s okay. you’re okay , you thought to yourself, rocking your body back and forth, face buried in your knees.

the lies kept increasing.

lies towards yourself, towards him, towards anyone and everything.

you were fine , you told yourself.

as if.

here you were, dove white bedsheets pooled around you, as fat, crystalline tears rolled down your face, an ugly reminder of what you had become.

of what you had become ever since he left you.

a crying mess.

even the way he had broken up with you reflected the situation — rain pouring down, thumping over your roof as he stood there, umbrella in hand. his jet-black bangs were plastered to his face, wet, as if he had left without an umbrella originally.

your eyes had a joyful gleam as you beamed at him, crinkles at the corners of your eyes a mirror of your happiness.

until he shattered it, alongside your heart, of course.

it was like he had been cradling your fragile, glass heart, taking care of it, protecting it, until he decided to throw it full-force at the ground.

“i have to tell you something,” he had said, cold eyes analyzing you, examining your very being.

thinking nothing of it, you had asked what. he dropped your glass heart as he spoke his next words.

“i want to break up.”

and, so, you were here, crying like a baby.

a fucking baby.

you had thrown away the jacket you had worn when you had asked him out, trying to look your very best.

you wanted to look like an adult, mature and collected, coming to terms with any ups and downs life had to offer.

but, as it turned out, you were still a kid inside. ever so sensitive — fragile and delicate, able to break apart at any moment.

this was so, so much more cruel than any mean words he could speak to you. saying he loved you, whispering sweet nothings, and then dropping the bomb on you? saying he never loved you?

saying everything was meaningless to him?

you had gone to a cafe a few days prior, and what you saw made your heart crack all over again.

he was there, sitting alongside his friends.

worst thing?

he was smiling.

he was fucking smiling.

after what he did to you, he had the audacity to laugh, to smile?

it hurt so, so much, watching him smile, watching him laugh, knowing it would never be you making him do so ever again.

it made you hurt.

it made you hurt.

it made you sick.

and, so, you laid on your bed, crying like a baby.

crying like a baby.

i’m crying for you, baby.

𝟮. 𝗕𝗨𝗧 𝗦𝗢𝗠𝗘𝗧𝗜𝗠𝗘𝗦

but you —

heard your mascara's running from crying everyday

kicking yourself now

i never felt better

he had said he didn’t like you swearing.

that you were too delicate, too innocent to.

even when you were angry, you couldn’t fucking swear, wanting to keep the love of your life, the bane of your existence, happy.

you had widened your shoulders when he needed to lean on them.

it only caused trouble for you now when you went upon the crowded metro, bodies pressed up against you.

you wanted to swear.

swear at him.

yourself.

everyone.

every-fucking-thing.

you swore dan heng wouldn’t ever regret it.

you were the fool.

the goddamn fool.

it would’ve been better if he had just said he didn’t love you.

why did he lead you on, saying he loved you if he was just going to break your heart, leaving it hollow?

now you wanted to rip up all the polaroids of him you had kept.

his appearance in the photos was the same — soft, ethereal.

beautiful.

the appearance of someone you had once loved.

of someone you still loved.

it was nothing like the cold and hard exterior he had worn when he broke up with you.

sometimes you just wanted him to get lost, wishing him heartbreak and bad wishes, wishing for him to suffer as you did.

but sometimes, you missed him.

—

you were used and useless now.

now, you wanted to change all your mannerisms — the way you did your makeup, the way you laughed, even the way you walked.

it all reminded you of dan heng.

and that memory stemmed on and on, and lead to another night of you crying in your room, mascara tainting your face, smudging it an inky black.

—

sure, he wasn’t the mean one.

your friends said that he was being reasonable, that he was so mature about the situation, not even putting any blame on you! you were crying for no reason at all, he could’ve ended things on a much, much worse note.

yeah, sure.

yes, you were the mean one! you were the one mad at him, sad over him, because of absolutely nothing! it wasn’t like he was the one who broke up with you!

ugh.

give me a break.

—

late at night, you were curled up in your bed, the excruciatingly bright screen of your phone illuminating your tired eyes and dried up tears.

your finger hovered over the button to delete his number.

you couldn’t even do a task as simple as that.

you were such a fool. you still loved him, even though he had already broken up with you?

pathetic.

—

yeah, this was better.

swearing to get it all out, to get all the red, hot anger off your chest, off yourself.

previously pinpointed on yourself, now you found a new target to direct it all to, to shift the blame to.

dan fucking heng.

previously, you had been sobbing in your room after he had broken up with you, sobs wracking your body as if you were a mere petal in a storm, drifting all alone.

the sorrow had eventually melted, leaving an omnipresent hatred in its wake.

but, if you despised him so much, why did you immediately soften up upon looking at photos you took of him?

he still looked so sweet in the photos, jet black bangs dusting his face, the tiniest smile on his face as he held up a peace sign.

maybe you should just rip up all the photos.

yeah.

—

life wasn’t too bad as of late.

you had been hanging out with new friends, and that took your mind off everything.

maybe you had finally moved on?

yet, you still felt a tinge of hatred towards dan heng, even though he hadn’t done anything wrong as you had come to realize.

you had heard he’d been kicking himself over the break up, crying everyday. you should’ve felt bad.

yet you felt the smallest twinge of happiness upon hearing this.

you could’ve — would’ve — died for him, yet it took him til now to realize what he had missed.

to realize what he had done?

why’d it take him til now? why was he so selfish?

he could’ve just not loved you from the beginning.

huh, maybe you hadn’t moved on yet.

sometimes, you still missed him.

𝟯. 𝗔𝗕𝗖𝗗𝗟𝗢𝗩𝗘

a-b-c-d-e-f-g, right?

it’s still awkwаrd, will i gеt used to it?

give me back my a-b-с-d-l-o-v-e,

or draw a nеw lоve

an easy word you could memorize — love.

soft and delicate love, strong as titanium, yet fragile as glass.

but, well, you didn’t know love anymore.

the love you had known had changed.

it had broken into a million tiny bits, leaving behind shards of shattered glass, cutting you and making you bleed scarlet the moment you tried to pick up the broken pieces.

now you practically had to learn the meaning of love all over again.

everything had changed, now it was all inverted. bright, almost blindingly so, yellow shades of happiness and warmth had become depressing, melancholic blues.

dainty pink had becoming a forever burning inferno of red.

dan heng had been the moons and stars, your whole universe.

and, just like that, he had disappeared.

stormy black clouds had covered the glittering skies, leaving only darkness in their wake.

he had told you he had loved you.

you wanted that same love back.

or, perhaps, now you could draw a new love.

—

it was so, so awkward now.

you could barley get any words out around him.

he, who was spring and summer.

he, who left, leaving a cold and barren winter with you.

now who would alight your freezing heart ablaze?

—

it was still so, so awkward.

would you ever get used to it?

well, perhaps you would, you supposed.

if you could draw a brand new love for yourself, rewrite the meaning of it from scratch, you could get used to this too, no?

[futuremrscameron]

body favors (smau)

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